Dear Insane Lesbians Downstairs,...

Quote 24 Feb

An interesting day in our relationship girls. Are we breaking up? You’re just up and out, just like that?

— Love, Kyle

Text 24 Feb Breaking News:

THIS JUST IN: The Insane Lesbians Downstairs are moving out. I repeat, THE INSANE LESBIANS DOWNSTAIRS ARE MOVING OUT… RIGHT NOW!

I got home from some grocery shopping, and I arrive to find the girls and a friend of theirs struggling to move a couch into a pickup truck. Door, wide open, and everything a buzz…. I’m not quite sure precisesly what’s going on, but It appears as though they’re clearing out. To where, who knows….. i mean, who cares…. right? I’ll keep updating if I get any other information on it. An intersting Day in our relationship girls. Are we breaking up?

Love, Kyle

Quote 21 Feb

Yup, you got the drums to complete your rock band experience. Sounds like you’re only getting one or two stars.

— Love, Kyle

Quote 18 Feb

I learned a bit more about how I’m not the ONLY one around here to say something about your kind and gentle discussions with eachother. Expect a letter.

— Love, Kyle

Text 18 Feb So…

Dear Insane Lesbians Downstairs,

I’ve officially filed a noise complaint. I mean, it’s been a long time coming, but last night was the last straw. I would have given a transcription of all the stupid and completely nonsensical things you were yelling at each other between the hours of 3:00 and 4:30 am, but to be honest, It was just not worth it. All I will say is I hope that your dog is ok. That’s all.

Love, Kyle

Quote 11 Feb

Your Rock Band Red Hot Chili Peppers marathon is going to KILLLL MEEEEE.

— Love, Kyle

Quote 10 Feb

Oh crap I was wrong, you bought Rock Band. I know I bought a Wurlitzer but COME ON.

— Love, Kyle

Quote 10 Feb

hahaha, apparently you’re playing karaoke or something. Song of choice: JET’s “Are you gonna be my girl?” Well played Insane Lesbians.

— Love, Kyle

Quote 10 Feb

Well I guess I should thank you? Your incessant fighting has driven me out of my house and out to dinner to escape. So thanks. I guess.

— Love Kyle

Quote 29 Jan

Your dog came at me tonight. You did not say hi, you just yelled at BENTLEY. i just have to know, how do YOUR eardrums stay in tact when you yell?

— Love, Kyle